Hope is a Process
by Nathaniel J. Criss
How can I deliver hope to someone who has the sentence of life without parole? I quickly found the answer to this questions within my own life experience of having LWOP. Nobody “delivered” hope to me. I found it over a period of time, because many people supported me throughout. This changed the nature of the question dramatically. It transcended into what is the fear that inhibits the hope of those incarcerated with LWOP? Again I turned to my life experience for that answer.
The biggest fear I had was being incarcerated from the age of 18 and living the remainder of my natural life in prison. An overwhelming amount of pain was associated with this thought. Thoughts of family dying off or fading away with time. Also the devastating thought of being 70 years old and alone in prison. To avoid this pain I medicated myself through substance abuse, violence and criminality. My actions were no more than the symptoms of my thinking. This thinking was birthed out of hopelessness and despair. I gave up on my life and distanced myself from my own family. I became what I was once afraid of.
Change began to only manifest itself in my life once I found myself around people who supported such change. I soaked up a new way of thinking. Then I took full advantage of the educational and self-help opportunities afforded the incarcerated by the state. This was my process of self-inspired hope that many people played a part in.
If that initial question had not transcended, nor would have I. Now at the age of 43,1 help the LWOP Community in that same space. I make myself available to be of the same support that I myself was once in need of. I just want to be present for those feeling fear and pain, providing a space of validity for these overwhelming emotions. For this is the space that they can create new emotions that support a new way of thinking. It is each person individual journey and I am just thankful for the opportunity to be step-by step with them.
— Mr. Nathaniel J. Criss