My name is Virgil Clarke III. I’m serving a sentence of life with no possibility of parole plus 6 years for aiding and abetting in the murder of Mrs. Catherine Tucker. Even before this, I felt so guilty for my actions leading up to this senseless act.
I’ll be the first to tell you that forgiveness is hard. It took me 15 years to forgive myself during which time I had suicidal thoughts and more. I don’t expect forgiveness from Mrs. Tucker’s family, I would just like the opportunity to explain my actions
Though there is no excuse for what I’ve done and I make none, it’s important to understand the person I was when this horrible act occurred.
I was molested at the age of eight (8) and again when I was twelve (12). I was never the same after those experiences. I would only allow myself to see the worst in people. I had problems differentiating real from imagined or even present from past, all I could see and feel was the hurt. Because of that I didn’t care who I hurt or who was hurt; all that mattered to me was not being a victim ever again.
Again, I do not write this to make an excuse for what I did as there is none, but this was my frame of mind I was in throughout my youth.
Once I began to forgive myself for my actions all those years ago, I began to take steps to better my life in every way. I accepted Christ into my life, I mean really accepted Him. I’ve never felt so much love and joy in my life.
I’ve taken classes and participated in workshops that helped me to discover who I was and what was at the root of my anger, insecurity, self-loathing and hatred. I’m enrolled in Coastline Community College and plan to earn an AA degree in social and behavioral science.
I don’t want others to experience the pain I did growing up so I hope to be able to help children and adults who have experienced sexual abuse and the traumatic aftermath. I want to keep kids away from the lifestyle I chose and above all, I want to be the light God meant me to be.
I pray that I will be seen as more than just an inmate, but rather as the worthy human being that I am becoming.