I am Malinda Jones, a 65-year-old Grandmother with an LWOP Sentence. I live with a mountain of regrets and a heart full of remorse, but I can’t change the fact that a young man lost his life.
What I can do is explain the “WHY” of that horrible night. None of what I am sharing here was allowed at my trial but needs to be said. The court can silence the words “sexual abuse” but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
It was the sexual abuse of our precious granddaughter that created the perfect storm. She told what was happening to her but the system let her down. Two independent investigations, one by CPS and one by Santa Barbara Sheriff’s, proved she was telling the truth and it was handed over to the D.A. for prosecution. Unfortunately, the DA liked his witness to be older; so he declined to prosecute.
She was devastated and begged my husband to stop the abuse. He asked me to go with him to confront her abuser and I went willingly. I knew there could be a fight but I did not know my husband had a gun. I feel I should have known this is my greatest regret. I should have paid more attention to his state of mind, as survivors of sexual abuse ourselves this was like a hammer to the heart. I cope by withdrawing but he copes by getting angry. While I waited on the passenger side of our truck two streets over, the confrontation turned deadly.
None of this was an excuse for taking a human life. The intent was to save a child’s innocence but the result was a young man’s death at the hands of a loving grandfather who was since passed away. I spend every day trying to make amends, but sadly nothing can repair the damage done to so many good people.
The place where I am is filled with so many broken women who don’t know where to turn to heal. I was moved to do something to help. I was blessed to be chosen to participate in an educational program to become a state certified drug and alcohol counselor.
After passing my state certification test, I was hired by the Intensive Substance Use Disorder Treatment (ISUDT) program here that helps women by giving them the tools to rise above their various addictions. If I make a difference in even one life, I have done what I set out to do.
When I am able to leave this place, God willing, I have a career that will allow me to continue to contribute to the well-being of others. What more could I ask for?