My name is Kajuana Irving.
I was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. During my early years my father was incarcerated and my parents eventually divorced. I lived with my mother, my eldest sister, and my two younger brothers. Life got rough because by the age of 8, my siblings and I were separated and placed into the County’s foster care system.
Between the ages of 10 to 15, I lived with my father, stepmother, and my eldest sister; life seemed better. However, my father was very stern; and imposed a lot of behaviors on me. I later learned that these behaviors are toxic (i.e., internalizing/suppressing my emotions, exercising extreme violence, hate, womanizing; etc.) I was also prohibited from having male friends, and instead I was encouraged to fight, womanize, and view certain ethnic groups and social classes with disdain, all while discouraged from showing any emotions which were deemed weak. These bottled-up emotions manifested in unhealthy ways.
Then, at the age of 15, after leaving my father’s household and relocating with my maternal grandmother, I began gang banging. Both of my grandparents were deaf and had no idea of my street activities. My uncle, who was like an older brother to me, introduced me to the gang. I viewed my homies as an extended family; the set was my life. The gang lifestyle corrupted me, and the penal system hardened me. When I “exited”, upon release from YTS on January 12th, 1988, one day prior to my 21st birthday, I was fully indoctrinated into the gang lifestyle/criminal mindset.
The year is 1988–the height of LA’s crack cocaine epidemic and gang warfare. My old neighborhood is in the middle of LA’s former “South Central”. I am very remorseful for taking the lives of Hasan Washington and Delvin Moore, and all the pain and loss I caused their family and friends on the night of December 26, 1988. There is no justification for my actions. Only remorse, amendment, and hopeful redemption. These were young men I knew. We attended school together and we were part of the same gang, to which I have long since denounced and I can say I no longer am a part of it. I would have never joined a gang if I knew all the I knew now.
I began my spiritual journey while on the run from January to July 1989. I struggled internally with the events of my life and conscience. In 1998, I embraced Al-Islam, and formerly dropped out of the gang; a major decision with serious ramifications in prison. I spent many years in and out of Ad-Seg (Administrative Segregation) during these past 31 years of incarceration. I am not the same man I was when I was 21 years of age. I ask for forgiveness from their families, God, and hope that the State of California can provide me a second chance and see the growth and changes I’ve made.