My name is Julian Gonzalez.
I was born and raised in Visalia and am 27 years old, I have been incarcerated since I was 18 years old. I am serving a LWOP sentence for my part in a gang related murder. Although my bullets were not the ones that killed the victim, I was sentenced to more than the actual killer, because I went to trial. My co-defendant qualifies for Y.O.P because he took a deal by pleading guilty to all charges, he was sentenced to 75 years to Life. I don’t have a Y.O.P. date because of the sentence I received (LWOP) not because of the crime I committed. My crime was committed 40 days after my 18th birthday meaning I missed the Y.O.P criteria by 40 days.
Even with a sentence that carries no hope, I quickly realized I had to change my ways. I dropped out of my gang after 6 months in prison. I have received no 115’s for anything violent. I have started to take classes to get self-help, my change started a long time ago and I’ve done it all by myself. I stopped hanging around the same guys that got me in this situation and started being my own person.
While trying to be the best man I can be I’ve accepted responsibility for my actions in the crime we committed. I understand the even though my bullets didn’t kill the victim or injure the woman that was shot; I might as well have been the killer. I could’ve and should’ve done something to stop it from happening.
At my sentencing I remember the victims’ family getting the chance to talk to me. It really hit me when his daughter spoke to me telling me everything I took from her life. While she was saying this, I was looking at my little sister two rows behind her; and was reminded of the pain we experienced growing up after my dad died in a car accident. When my victim’s daughter was speaking all I could think was that I just caused her family the same pain we went through. That night I sat in the cell telling myself I deserve to do life in prison, I wanted to tell her I was sorry, but my public defender advised me against it. I regret not saying sorry that day.
For the first seven years of incarceration I was living a life like I was spending my life in here. I had no hope of getting out. I realized I had to change my mindset. Recently, I was given a reason to continue to improve myself and get out; my little brother was brought back into my life and he’s constantly getting into the same trouble I was at his age. I realize how bad of a role model I was for him, he looked up to me and I gave him the worst example. Now I’m trying to fix that by changing myself and showing him a better way of thinking, hoping one day I’ll be able to get out and show him a better way of living.
In 2015, I got my G.E.D. and I am currently taking college courses to get my AA Degree through Coastline Community College; and I am getting more involved in self-help groups while continuing to stay out of trouble.