My name is Jose Ortega.
On August 20th, 1996 I participated in the senseless crime that ended Mr. Wilson’s life. At the time of the crime I was 23-year-old immature irresponsible, selfish, and careless gang member criminal and father. I take all responsibility for my actions. I had no coping skills to be a responsible man or father. The only thing I knew was to mask my fears away from problems and responsibilities and sadly to say I continued living in that lifestyle when I arrived to prison.
I was finally confronted with reality and honesty by my daughter’s pain when she told me that “I don’t want to see you in the hole” and “remember when I used to do cartwheels on the visiting mats?” This was a turning point in my life, those two comments made me realize the pain I had caused my daughter, Mr. Wilson’s family and all the people that crossed my path. It was here where I see who I was, who I had become; a monster.
I know I needed help; I was finally being honest with myself. So I reached out for help, I’ve slowly put my internal broken parts back together with the help of a great support network and these self-help groups; C.G.A., A.V.P. , NA/AAA. These programs have helped me change my way of thinking. I no longer mask my fears and I solve my problems non-violently and I no longer run away from my responsibilities. I am no longer a gang-member, criminal, and most importantly I have my sobriety.
Today I am a responsible, caring, understanding, patient, compassionate person; and loving father. I now see the precious and beautiful things I took away from Mr. Wilson, Mr. Wilson’s family and loved ones; I feel terrible for taking him away from his family and community.
I share my testimony at my self-help groups as what can happen if you live as I once did. I am a mentor and facilitate some of these programs now. I am no longer surviving; I am living with a purpose. “One less criminal, One less crime, One less victim.”