My name is Jemal Bernard and I am currently serving a sentence of Life Without the Possibility of Parole. I am a 48 year-old African-American male, a first termer, who has spent over half of my life in state prison. Unlike many of those who end up in the state prison system, I come from a loving, Christian family where my parents made many sacrifices to ensure that I had everything I needed to become successful in life. However, I was rebellious and ultimately embarked on a path to destruction.
In 1992 at the age of 22 years old, I committed a despicable act. I took the life of another human being. There are several factors that caused me to make this choice, which by no means are excuses for my behavior, just deeper insight into who I was then, and who I am today in 2018.
In 1992, the girl whom I thought was the love of my life, and myself were at the end of a 5 year relationship. She got involved with a much older man and I could not bear the pain. Not knowing how to deal with a broken heart, I turned to drugs and alcohol, and friends who were involved with illegal activities. Ultimately, I turned to violence to cope with my low self-esteem and rejection. The methamphetamines enhanced my thoughts, my character, and subsequently, my actions which led to the altercation with my victim. I shot and killed Mr. Jim Brue.
Since that day, January 24, 1992, and realizing the destruction, devastation, hurt, and pain I have caused the victim’s family, as well as my own family, I have tried to make amends for my cowardly act. Along with taking full responsibility for my actions, over the years I have participated in self-help groups, individual and group counseling sessions, counseling groups that focus on the severity of my behavior and past actions. I have actively participated in many anger management groups, including Cage Your Race, Alternatives to Violence Project (AVP), Creative Conflict Resolutions, and AA Anonymous Parenting Classes. On several occasions, I have facilitated group counseling sessions.
While being incarcerated I earned my GED and am currently enrolled in Southwest Community College to obtain my AA Degree. I have received many chronos for good work and have not had any violent or drug related issues since being in prison.
Whenever I have the opportunity, I am compelled to speak to the youth that come through the facility in order to help them better understand that there are alternatives to drugs, anger, and violence. I share my story as a real tragedy that easily could have been prevented.
My goal is and always will be, to continue to search for redemption by helping others and giving whatever I can to help strengthen our communities. By accepting responsibility for my actions, becoming as knowledgeable as I can, and by doing good works each and every day, society might just believe I am worthy of a second chance. I pray that one day society will be able to see a mature Jemal—-one who has made it his life mission to be help others and become the best he can be. With the love of God and his mercy, I pray for the privilege of being forgiven and ultimately realizing redemption.