The most important part of my story is the memory of Mr. Diyet Dinh Vu, his family, Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Alterman and their family, as well as the countless others I have victimized in my lifetime. They did not deserve to be treated in such a violent callous way and to suffer as I imagine they have. It is my intention to live everyday with them at the forefront of my mind creating healing spaces to break the cycles of violence and addiction.
This was not always my intention. I chose to continue in my criminal and addictive lifestyle for 20 years after my incarceration. Being sentenced LWOP did not deter me from this lifestyle, I instead allowed myself to be swallowed up by it. My choices were ineffective at truly dealing with my problems, they instead compounded them. The ultimate truth and realization is that I was my problem.
Fast forward to 2012, sitting on my bed thinking about my dad who just died and asking myself what would he want for me in my life. Would he want me to give up and just go back to a life of addiction and crime or would he want me to be the best version of myself I could be? Glory to God, I chose the latter. I had no idea how to become that, what that would look like, who could help me, or even where to start.
It has been over 10 years now since that fateful day and oh how far I have come. My faith guides me in all I do. I have been clean and sober since then, received multiple diplomas in various areas of study, participated in multiple self-help and rehabilitative programs, and taken an active role in my thinking and behaving. Today I can say that LWOP no longer defines me. While I am geographically challenged, I am internally free.
My life today is about helping others discover their own true selves. Living an authentic genuine life which is in line with positive values creates a safe environment where we all can heal from what ails us. Living in gratitude has created environment where we all can heal from what ails us. Living in gratitude has created my sense of freedom. I hope to one day soon no longer be geographically challenged.
Jeffrey B. Roberts H-57360
Ironwood State Prison B1-224u
P.O. Box 2199
Blythe, CA. 92226