My name is Bill Mothershed and I’m serving a sentence of Life without the possibility of Parole
When I was a teen, I was confused and felt that me rebelling against my psychotic father and rebelling against society was the same thing.
Before I could realize that it was very different, I had shot and killed a police officer. This happened 35 years ago and, in that time, I’ve dedicated my life to helping men in prison understand their brokenness as I now understand my own.
It’s difficult to express the depth of my remorse in so few words. There’s no shortage of psychopaths in prison but here are so many repentant and changed men and women who deserve another chance.
I was raised by a violent, irrational, paranoid, schizophrenic, alcoholic father that served in Vietnam and had issues that were deeper than I could understand.
I took his words and actions to heart which led me on a destructive path. It took a lot of mistakes on my part and a long healing process for me to understand that I am responsible for my actions and he is responsible for his.
I divorced myself from him and in my mind, he became my enemy. I wanted to be a rebel. So, I set out to college in hope of finding a rebel society. To my surprise, I only found common criminals. So I learned how to be a criminal too and also convinced myself that I was the hero, instead of the villain.
After I committed my second robbery, I felt so much shame, and I soon realized I was the villain. Though I had dropped out of college after the first semester, I decided that I wanted to go back finish my education and live a normal life, however that was not to happen.
While I was walking away from the robbery site, I was thinking about how I could put my life back together in a positive way. But, when a cop pulled up on me, instead of surrendering I shot him. At that point I knew I had crossed the line.
I was able to get away and stayed free for three months. There were no indications of me being pursued but I was deeply ashamed, I had nightmares, and I realized that I had betrayed my own morality. I abandoned every aspect of criminal activity; I enlisted in the Air Force, and thought I was on the path to living a decent life. Three days before I was to leave for boot camp I was arrested. I had confessed to one person and the word spread which led to that moment.
I had already started on a moral change and once I was incarcerated, I started on my spiritual change. I have been a Christian incarcerated for 36 years. At some point I made the transition from being the church goer and participant in rehabilitation to church leader, teacher, and facilitator for rehab programs. I am currently attending Bible College and if granted parole, I will parole to their mission and continue the efforts of changing the hearts and minds of men and women who are lost. I am completely dedicated to helping people, no matter where I am, to make better decisions in their lives.